Monday, April 9, 2012

Preparing for the "Blind Essay"


AP Ladies...

Use your handout to comment on the following: What is the difference between a "good" and an "excellent" essay?

11 comments:

Khadijah Dixon said...

The difference between a good essay and an excellent essay is the assertions. I believe this to be the main difference because the assertion is the way that the reader understands how you process the information and are able to interpret it. In a excellent essay the assertions are tight and straight to the point. In a good essay the assertions are tight however they are missing a key point.

Briana Pernell said...

I agree with Khadijah when she says that the assertions are the difference between a good essay and an excellent one. In excellent essay 1, assertions are made such as "the desire to acquire new territory was the main factor contributing to national unity." this assertion was very clear and to the point. Appropriate details were used afterwards to support it. I also think that The introduction could make the difference. In the excellent essays intro, we know exactly what will be talked about in the rest of the essay and what points will be touched on.

Dani Waite said...

Excellent Essay One included many IDs such as : Thomas Jefferson, Mississippi River, Manifest Destiny, Polk, and ect. She defines terminology briefly and then returns to the point. She also has a clear developed thesis. In the Good Essay the intro paragraph is missing the support that will be used throughout the essay. Also fewer Ids were used. However as it was awarded the third essay was a good essay in comparison to the others.

Essence Ray-Simpson said...

The excellent essay was a bit more concise and extensive. It also had a clearer thesis and clearer topic sentences of each body paragraph as opposed to the good essay. The good essay did not give a clear reason within the paragraphs. It sounded like the writer knew what they were trying to say but did not fully develop it in their writing.

Stephanie Welch said...

I agree with Khadijah's, that assertions are the determining factor between a good essay and an excellent essay. Both essays used evidence but I felt that the excellent essay went more in depth. In the excellent essay she used various examples. However in the good essay tended to sound a bit repetitive.

Diana Youssef said...

The excellent essay (8 points) began with a clear indication of what the essay will be about. Also her transitions from paragraph to paragraph were smooth and her body paragraphs included many assertions that she provided detailed facts for. The good essay also had strong assertions and evidence but not detailed enough. As the comment on the paper states "it could develop the argument more fully by linking specific examples of territorial expansion to impact on unity or disunity."

Rebecca Guan said...

The difference between a "good" and an "excellent" essay is that the assertions were different, like Khadijah had said. In the excellent essay, assertions were clear with informational evidence to back it up that connects with the main idea. The intro in the excellent one also reveals more than the good one. An excellent essay is clearlly more sophisicated.

vivian wang. said...

I agree with Khadijah and Danielle. The difference between a good essay and an excellent essay is that an excellent essay avoids details that drives the main idea off topic. A excellent essay presents a clear well-written thesis and is backed up by strong supportive facts. A good essay might have too many details that fog the reader's mind of what is being proposed, even with supporting details.

Kaci Kelsey said...

The difference between a good and excellent essay refers to the assertion evidence model. The excellent essay has a better understanding of this and was able to provide more clear ideas with detailed evidence. The good essay was on a more vauge level. Also the excelent essay is written on a more sophisticated level like Rebecca said.

Dao Tang said...

The difference between a "good" and an "excellent" essay is the choice of words and it conciseness. I noticed that the writer of the "good" essay uses a lot of "it" and "they" whereas the “excellent” essay uses key terms from the era which made more academic.

Nikera said...

The difference between the excellent essay and good essay are the assertion and the thesis. Along with other facts as in the excellent essay the writer doesn't drift off to other things that do not go back to the topic.